Monday, November 12, 2007

A Message by George Carlin

George Denis Patrick Carlin, a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor and author of the 70's and 80's. This comedian is very well noted for his political and black humour. Read something written by him: it is so very eloquent...and so very appropriate:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Winners and Losers

If you ask me what is the main difference between winners and losers? I would say it is personal "Attitude". Positive attitude always make things happen! Find the below quote somewhere, very interesting to reflect positive attitude (winner) and negative attitude (loser). Let's share.

Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.

Winners see the grains;
Losers see the pain.

Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.

Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.

Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.

Winners makes commitments;
Losers makes promises.

Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.

Winner always has a programmed
Loser always has an excuse.

Winner says "Let me do it for you";
Loser says "That is not my job".

Winners say "I must do something";
Losers say "Something must be done".

Winner is always a part of the answer;
Loser is always a part of the problem.

Winner sees an answer for every problem;
Loser sees a problem for every answer.

Winners believe in win/win;
Loser believe for them to win, someone has to lose.

Winner says "It may be difficult but it is possible";
Loser says "It may be possible but it is too difficult".

Winner makes a mistake. He says "I was wrong";
Loser makes a mistake; he says "It wasn't my fault".


Michael Schumacher's career has always been full of controversies, but you can't deny that he has champion's attitude.

Monday, October 08, 2007

选择

是不是每个人都有权力去选择自己的生活方式?还是每个生活方式都是权力的选择?

There are two ways to live your life,
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)

幸福是什麼?

有一個人,他生前善良而且熱心助人,所以在他死後,昇上天堂,做了天使。他當了天使後,仍時常到凡間幫助人,希望能感受到幸福的味道。

有一天,他遇見一個農夫,農夫的樣子非常煩惱,他向天使訴說︰「我家的水牛剛死了,沒牠幫忙犁田,那我怎能下田工作呢?」於是天使賜給他一隻健壯的水牛,農夫很高興,天使在他身上感受到幸福的味道。

又有一天,他遇見一個男人,男人非常沮喪,他向天使訴說︰「我的錢都被騙光了,沒有盤纏回鄉。」於是天使送給他銀兩做路費,男人很高興天使在他身上感受到幸福的味道。

又一日,他遇見一個詩人,詩人年青、英俊、有才華而且富有,妻子貌美又溫柔,但他卻過得不快樂。

天使問他︰「你不快樂嗎?我能幫你嗎?」

詩人對天使說︰「我什麼也有,只欠一樣東西,你能夠給我嗎?」

天使回答說︰「可以。你要什麼我也可以給你。」

詩人直直的望著天使︰「我想要的是幸福。」

這下子把天使難倒了,天使想了想,說︰「我明白了。」

然後把詩人所擁有的都拿走。天使拿走詩人的才華,毀去他的容貌,奪去他的財產,和他妻子的性命,天使做完這些事後,便離去了。

一個月後,天使再回到詩人的身邊,他那時餓得半死,衣衫襤褸地在躺在地上掙扎。

於是,天使把他的一切還給他,然後,又離去了。

半個月後,天使再去看看詩人。這次,詩人摟著妻子,不住向天使道謝,因為,他得到幸福了。

你曾覺得孤獨?你嚐過幸福的味道?孤寂、璀璨本就是形容詞,所有的形容詞都是比較的。沒嘗過孤寂,又怎知何謂璀璨的人生?孤寂又豈非人生之必經?人很奇怪,每每要到了失去後,才懂得珍惜。其實,幸褔早就放就在你的面前。肚子餓壞的時候,有一碗熱騰騰的拉麵放在你眼前,幸福。累得半死的時候,撲上軟軟的床,也是幸福。哭得要命的時候,旁邊溫柔的遞來一張紙巾,更是幸福。幸福本沒有絕對的定義,平常一些小事也往往能撼動你的心靈,幸福與否,只在乎你的心怎麼看待。朋友,你的心,充滿了幸福嗎?還是,溢滿了哀愁?愉快的心情,敲你的心門時,你就該大大的開放你的心門,讓愉快與你同在.

獅子或狼?

一个很好的生活写实...

上帝把兩群羊放在草原上,一群在南,一群在北。 上帝還給羊群找了兩種天敵,一種是獅子,一種是狼。
上帝對羊群說:「如果你們要狼,就給一隻,任它隨意咬你們。 如果你們要獅子,就給兩頭,你們可以在兩頭獅子中任選一頭,還可以隨時更換。」

這道題的問題就是:如果你也在羊群中,你是選狼還是選獅子? 很容易做出選擇吧?好吧,記住你的選擇,接著往下看。

南邊那群羊想,獅子比狼兇猛得多,還是要狼吧。於是,它們就要了一隻狼。 北邊那群羊想,獅子雖然比狼兇猛得多,但我們有選擇權,還是要獅子吧。 於是,它們就要了兩頭獅子。

那隻狼進了南邊的羊群後,就開始吃羊。狼身體小,食量也小,一隻羊夠它吃幾天了。這樣羊群幾天才被追殺一次。北邊那群羊挑選了一頭獅子,另一頭則留在上帝那裡。這頭獅子進入羊群後,也開始吃羊。獅子不但比狼兇猛,而且食量驚人,每天都要吃一隻羊。這樣羊群就天天都要被追殺,驚恐萬狀。羊群趕緊請上帝換一頭獅子。不料,上帝保管的那頭獅子一直沒有吃東西,正飢餓難耐,它撲進羊群,比前面那頭獅子咬得更瘋狂。羊群一天到晚只是逃命,連草都快吃不成了。南邊的羊群慶幸自己選對了天敵,又嘲笑北邊的羊群沒有眼光。北邊的羊群非常後悔,向上帝大倒苦水,要求更換天敵,改要一隻狼。上帝說:「天敵一旦確定,就不能更改,必須世代相隨,你們唯一的權利是在兩頭獅子中選擇。」北邊的羊群只好把兩頭獅子不斷更換。可兩頭獅子同樣凶殘,換哪一頭都比南邊的羊群悲慘得多,它們索性不換了,讓一頭獅子吃得膘肥體壯,另一頭獅子則餓得精瘦。眼看那頭瘦獅子快要餓死了,羊群才請上帝換一頭。這頭瘦獅子經過長時間的飢餓後,慢慢悟出了一個道理: 自己雖然兇猛異常,一百隻羊都不是對手,可是自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的。羊群隨時可以把自己送回上帝那裡,讓自己飽受飢餓的煎熬,甚至有可能餓死。想通這個道理後,瘦獅子就對羊群特別客氣,只吃死羊和病羊,凡是健康的羊它都不吃了。羊群喜出望外,有幾隻小羊提議乾脆固定要瘦獅子,不要那頭肥獅子了。一隻老公羊提醒說:「瘦獅子是怕我們送它回上帝那裡挨餓,才對我們這麼好。萬一肥獅子餓死了,我們沒有了選擇的餘地,瘦獅子很快就會恢復凶殘的本性。」原先膘肥體壯的那頭獅子,已經餓得只剩下皮包骨頭了,並且也懂得了自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的道理。為了能在草原上待久一點,它竟百般討好起羊群來。而那頭被送交給上帝的獅子,則難過得流下了眼淚。北邊的羊群在經歷了重重磨難後,終於過上了自由自在的生活。

南邊的那群羊的處境卻越來越悲慘了,那隻狼因為沒有競爭對手,羊群又無法更換它, 它就胡作非為,每天都要咬死幾十隻羊,這隻狼早已不吃羊肉了,它只喝羊心裡的血。 它還不准羊叫,哪只叫就立刻咬死哪只。 南邊的羊群只能在心中哀歎:「早知道這樣,還不如要兩頭獅子。」

Saturday, July 07, 2007

World's Best Job


What is the world’s best job? CEO of Microsoft or Apple? Well, condom manufacturer, Durex Austalia, is now offering the world’s best job to Australians - a “sexecutive position”. Durex Australia will select 200 testers for sexecutives who have a strong desire to improve their current sex-life by bed-testing a number of Durex’s condom products such as Pleasuremax, Extended Pleasure or Featherlite. These testers need to report to Durex on how they feel and how the condoms perform while they are having sex. Sexecutives are unpaid but they will be up for free packs of Durex products plus a bonus price of A$1,000 ($854) for one lucky winner.

What criteria are needed to be an official condom tester? Interested applicants need to tell Durex why they want to apply and why they should be considered. Try it out if you have strong desire to improve your sex-life. With this job on your CV, you definitely have chance to show off to your mates on how good you are in bed!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

笑一笑,无烦恼!

強吻
這天,有個美麗的女性在公司外當清掃婦。
突然有位男性強吻了她就跑走了,
女性便大叫「那個人強吻了我,快抓住他」
路人便衝過去將男性抓住說
「小姐,妳要告他甚麼?」
女性害羞的說「沒有,我只想告訴他...我每個星期一、三、五都會來打掃...」

瞄準
甲婦:「如果妳的老公有外遇,妳會怎麼樣?」
乙婦:「我會睜一隻眼,閉一隻眼。」
甲婦:「喔!妳這麼大方!」
乙婦:「不,我是要用槍瞄準他。」

不穿胸罩
甲:「我帶你去一個全部女生都沒有穿胸罩的地方。」
乙:「真的嗎?在那裡,快帶我去。」
甲:「就在隔壁的幼稚園啊!」

修理
甲婦:「我家兒子經常弄壞電器,幸好他老爸會修理。」
乙婦:「我家孩子也經常破壞東西,? ]幸好他爸會修理。」
甲婦:「妳先生也會修理東西?」
乙婦:「不,他會修理孩子。」

保證 錯誤
一對夫婦結婚二十周年,老婆提議殺隻雞慶賀一番。
老公冷冷應道:「何必把二十年前的錯誤算在一隻雞頭上呢?」

比毒
話說我有兩位同事,一男一女,非常喜歡鬥嘴,平常沒事就互"虧"對方。有一天下班,那女生就請那男的順路載她一程,好不容易我男同事答應了,於是他們就去牽機車。
到了停放機車的地方,那女的看到那機車又破又爛,忍不住又"虧"了那男的一句 :「拜託,這麼破又爛的機車還要上鎖~~~~。」
那男的瞪大眼睛看著那女的說 :「那妳幹麼上妝。」

一對母女搭計程車經過某路段,只見一個個打扮妖艷的阻街女郎站在路旁「做生意」。
正值青春期的女兒好奇的問:「媽媽,那些女人站在路旁幹什麼?」
為了不影響女兒幼小純真的心靈,媽媽回答說:「那些女人在等老公。」
多嘴的計程車司機卻搭腔:「笑死人了,誰都嘛知道那些女人是妓女。」
媽媽狠生氣瞪了司機一眼。
女兒接著問:「媽媽,那妓女會不會生小孩。」
媽媽冷冷的道:「當然會啊,要不然誰來開計程車!」

一對夫妻在動物園隨著眾人圍著大狒狒。
老婆:『真奇怪,愈難看的動物愈多人看。』
老公:『噓~~!不要叫這麼大聲,大家都在看妳。』

某日,一位小姐去買肉圓。
小姐:『老闆,我要兩個小的帶走!』
由於生意好,過了一會兒,老闆怕忙中有錯,於是在下鍋前問:『小姐,妳那兩粒是小的嗎?』
該小姐臉一紅,恨恨地回了一句:『老闆,你那兩粒才是小的!』

有一個女人長得粉抱歉,長得醜就算了,還超沒有口德的;一次被安排相親,但是男主角遲遲未出現,這女人等得相當不耐煩,就開始破口大罵:哇哩勒...竟敢讓老娘等這麼久....*%!#%%*#&%@ 批哩啪啦地罵了一串;此時,男主角正好出現 ..............,是個胖子,這女人看了更是火,於是指著男主角鼻子,又是批哩啪啦的罵了一串....死胖子..%$^@#&..男主角終於發飆了,拍了桌子..大聲的說:
『竟然罵我胖.....。哼!至少我曾經瘦過,妳美過嗎?』

Sunday, May 13, 2007

一種習慣叫 "理所當然"


上了一天班,回到家裡,丈夫只會粗聲粗氣的說:「飯煮好了沒?我餓死了。」對妻子的忙碌辛苦視而不見。

有一天,丈夫帶著未婚獨居的同事回家,同事一進門,老婆接過兩人的公事包和外套,丈夫還是老話:「飯煮好了沒?」

同事卻說:「大嫂,對不起,麻煩你了。」

看到一桌熱騰騰的飯菜,同事感動的差點掉下淚來:「一回家就有熱飯熱菜可吃的感覺真好!哪像我,每天回家都只有冰冷的牆壁迎接我。」然後埋頭拼命吃菜,彷彿一輩子都沒吃過飯的;對老婆的手藝讚不絕口,一盤簡單的炒青菜都被他說得像什麼山珍海味的。

老婆眉開眼笑,不斷的夾菜給同事,還說:「請用。」老公反而被冷落一邊。

吃完飯,老公照例拍拍屁股,想移到客廳沙發看電視、聊聊天,正想開口叫老婆倒茶;那個不識好歹的同事,竟然幫忙收拾碗筷,還不忘跟老婆道謝:「大嫂,謝謝你費心做這麼豐盛的晚餐請我。這些碗盤我來洗就好。」老婆當然不會讓客人洗碗。

這時,丈夫說:「泡茶。」

雞婆的同事居然說:「大嫂,你告訴我茶葉在哪裡,我自已來就好。」

同事走了之後,老婆一邊洗澡一邊唱歌。

丈夫問你為什麼那麼高興?

老婆說:「我煮了十幾年的菜給你吃,你從來也沒有跟我說一聲謝謝。吃完飯不但不幫忙洗碗,還要我泡茶侍候你。你看看你那個同事多懂事。」

老公回答:「因為他第一次來我們家啊,因為他不認識你啊,你等著看好了,看他結婚之後,會不會跟老婆說謝謝。」

為什麼?為什麼面對至親的人,我們總覺得一切都是理所當然,而忽略了最基本的禮貌和感謝?老婆為什麼一定要煮飯?因為那是她的工作、她份內的事?因為她愛你。丈夫為什麼要辛苦工作受到老闆指責、剝削仍然不敢辭職?因為他愛你。愛不是理所當然,愛是得來不易。

有人說,女人最傻,只要你給她一句讚美、一句感謝,她就會無怨無悔的為你做牛馬。

其實男人也是。在家的時候,放一缸熱水,接過他沈重的公事包,跟他說聲:老公你辛苦了。他在辦公室受到再大的委屈,也忘的一乾二淨。只是一句讚美,只是一句「請、謝謝、對不起」,愛情裡多了多少甜蜜和安慰?下一次,別忘了對你的愛人說:謝謝你。

幸福的長相:一句平凡的話語,卻有著神奇的力量。

靜思語
處理事情,感情要蘊藏在理智中;與人相處,則要把感情表現在理智上。

In handling matters, let your mind influence your heart. In dealing with people, let your heart influence your mind.

知識、習慣兩者是跟隨人最久的無形事物,知識隨著學習而不斷的增進,習慣隨著生活環境、交友而有好有壞。許多的壞習慣不用他人提醒,自己多多少少也有所知覺,而…「理所當然」的習慣卻是連旁人指出後都常常無所自覺 (親人常說,若以後沒我幫你處理事情時你就知道了),而當失去時,才恍然大悟了解到「你就知道了」這句話的深沉含義而後悔不已。

人最常犯的錯誤就是愈是親密的人愈是看不見對方的好,總是覺的旁人的付出是理所當然的,自己卻連一點感謝的「言、行、舉止」都沒有。

人一生中需要兩種糧食,一種能填飽肚子,一種則是溫暖心靈,當家人為您我填飽肚子時,記的也要溫暖一下家人的心靈。

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Baby's first exam

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?

"Breast-fed," she replied.

“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."

“I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

Monday, May 07, 2007

JUST A TAP

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry, but you scared the day lights out of me.” The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Thursday, April 26, 2007

原來很簡單

有一個人去應徵工作,隨手將走廊上的紙屑撿起來,放進了垃圾桶,被路過的口試官看到了,因此他得到了這份工作。
原來獲得賞識很簡單,養成好習慣就可以了。

有個小弟在腳踏車店當學徒,有人送來一部故障的腳踏車,小弟除了將車修好,還把車子整理的漂亮如新,其他學徒笑他多此一舉,後來雇主將腳踏車領回去的第二天,小弟被挖角到那位雇主的公司上班。
原來出人頭地很簡單,吃點虧就可以了。

有個小孩對母親說:「媽媽你今天好漂亮。」
母親回答:「為什麼。」小孩說「因為媽媽今天都沒有生氣。」
原來要擁有漂亮很簡單,只要不生氣就可以了。

有個牧場主人,叫他孩子每天在牧場上辛勤的工作,朋友對他說:「你不需要讓孩子如此辛苦,農作物一樣會長得很好的。」
牧場主人回答說:「我不是在培養農作物,我是在培養我的孩子。」
原來培養孩子很簡單,讓他吃點苦頭就可以了。

有一個網球教練對學生說:「如果一個網球掉進草堆裏,應該如何找?」
有人答:「從草堆中心線開始找。」
有人答:「從草堆的最凹處開始找。」
有人答:「從草最長的地方開始找。」
教練宣布正確答案:「按部就班的從草地的一頭,搜尋到草地的另一。」
原來尋找成功的方法很簡單,從一數到十不要跳過就可以了。

有一家商店經常燈火通明,有人問:「你們店裡到底是用什麼牌子的燈管?那麼耐用。」
店家回答說:「我們的燈管也常常壞,祇是我們壞了就換而已。」
原來保持明亮的方法很簡單,只要常常更換就可以了

住在田邊的青蛙對住在路邊的青蛙說:「你這裡太危險,搬來跟我住吧!」
路邊的青蛙說:「我已經習慣了,懶得搬了。」
幾天後,田邊的青蛙去探望路邊的青蛙,卻發現他已被車子壓死,暴屍在馬路上。
原來掌握命運的方法很簡單,遠離懶惰就可以了。

有一隻小雞破殼而出的時候,剛好有隻烏龜經過,從此以後小雞就背著蛋殼過一生。
原來脫離沉重的負荷很簡單,放棄固執成見就可以了。

有幾個小孩很想當天使,上帝給他們一人一個燭臺,叫他們要保持光亮,結果一天兩天過去了,上帝都沒來,所有小孩已不再擦拭那燭臺,有一天上帝突然造訪,每個人的燭臺都蒙上厚厚的灰塵,只有一個小孩大家都叫他笨小孩,因為上帝沒來,他也每天都擦拭,結果這個笨小孩成了天使。
原來當天使很簡單,只要實實在在去做就可以了。

有隻小豬,向神請求做祂的門徒,神欣然答應,剛好有一頭小牛由泥沼裡爬出來,渾身都是泥濘,神對小豬說:「去幫他洗洗身子吧!」小豬訝異的答道:「我是神的門徒,怎麼能去侍候那髒兮兮的小牛呢!」神說:「你不去侍候別人,別人怎會知道,你是我的門徒呢!」
原來要變成神很簡單,只要真心付出就可以了。

有一支掏金隊伍在沙漠中行走,大家都步伐沉重,痛苦不堪,只有一人快樂的走著,別人問:「你為何如此愜意?」他笑著:「因為我帶的東西最少。」
原來快樂很簡單,擁有少一點就可以了。

人生的光彩在哪裡?
早上醒來,光彩在臉上,充滿笑容的迎接未來。
到了中午,光彩在腰上,挺直腰桿的活在當下。
到了晚上,光彩在腳上,腳踏實地的做好自己。
原來人生也很簡單,只要能懂得「珍惜、知足、感恩」你就擁有了生命的光彩

努力不一定會成功,但成功卻永遠需要努力

有兩個小學生,為了打羽毛球,把學校禮堂的一百多張長凳搬開,打完球再歸位,同學都笑他們笨,後來他們卻成了羽毛球國手。其實不怕麻煩,可以實現夢想。

有一個大型才藝比賽,主辦單位打破多年慣例,賽前先發紀念品給小朋友,有人說:「主辦單位有點笨,大家領了紀念品,閉幕典禮時就會很冷清。」結果閉幕時場面非常熱鬧。其實尊重,可以獲得支持。

有一個人,去打籃球,常常輸。隊友說:「你為什麼這麼笨,都不搶球,能贏都不贏。」他答道:「我們在球場,受到這麼多人的歡迎,他們多麼喜歡跟我們打球。」其實輸球,可以換來好人緣。

有一個人,帶女朋友去看電影,路不熟,到了戲院,電影已散場。去吃飯,忘了帶皮夾,只得對女朋友說:「能不能借我一點錢。」到女友府上拜訪,遲到了半個多小時,原來摩托車沒油了,他竟然氣喘如牛的推著摩托車趕來。她還是嫁給了這位傻小子。其實真心,可以換真情。

有一個人,早上出門,後面車子煞車不及撞上來,對方急忙下車向他賠罪,他想:「一點小擦撞,大家都在趕時間,人沒事就好!」回家後,發現保險桿已經搖搖欲墜。朋友說:「你真笨,應該抄下他的車號。」他說:「事情過去就算了。」過幾天,他接到保險公司的理賠通知,原來對方早已記下他的車號。其實不計較,可以得到公平對待。

有個女孩,騎摩托車到大賣場買東西,結帳出來,看到一個人,鬼鬼祟祟的坐在摩托車上,東張西望,她沒好氣的說:「你坐在我車上做什麼?」他哭笑不得的說:「小姐,我已經等你半小時了,你沒事幹麼鎖住我的車。」在婚禮上,人家問他:「你為什麼娶她?」他說:「我喜歡她的迷糊。」其實迷糊,可以得到疼惜。

有一個人,常常托同事幫她買早點,她總是給30元,買一塊她常吃的麵包,有一天這位男同事休假,她自己跑去買麵包才發現,她買的麵包早已漲價成35元。從此以後,她都會多看他一眼,沒多久,公司流傳了一段佳話「五塊錢買一個老婆。」其實吃虧,可以獲得好感。

從小聽到大的故事「龜兔賽跑」,總是以為,現實生活裏,絕對不會有人像兔子般,因為貪睡而輸給烏龜。長大後漸漸發現「其實有成就的人,不是靠能力而是靠努力」。

有些人的成就,是你的十倍、百倍、千倍、萬倍,但是他的能力卻不一定是你的十倍、百倍、千倍、萬倍。不是他比你聰明,而是他笨笨的,去做一些你所不願去做的事。

在人生中,聰明的人,常常在最後,變笨了;而笨的人,卻常常在最後,變聰明了。

遇到寒冷酷熱,聰明的人逃開了;笨的人,卻傻傻的去親身嘗試,意外的在寒冷酷熱中成長。因為笨的人都知道:「努力不一定會成功,但成功卻永遠需要努力。」

Monday, April 16, 2007

我們都老得太快, 卻聰明得太遲!

把錢省下來,等待退休後再去享受, 結果退休後,因為年紀大,身體差,行動不方便,哪裡也去不成。錢存下來等養老,結果孩子長大了,要出國留學,要創業做生意,要花錢娶老婆,自己的退休金都被拗走了。

當自己有足夠的能力善待自己時,就立刻去做,老年人有時候是無法做中年人或是青少年人可以做的事,年紀和健康就是一大因素。小孩子從小就告訴他,養你到高中,大學以後就要自立更生,要留學,創業,娶老婆,自己想辦法,自己要留多一點錢,不要為了小孩子而活。

我們都老得太快卻聰明得太遲,我的學長去年喪妻。這突如其來的事故,實在叫人難以接受,但是死亡的到來不總是如此。 學長說他太太最希望他能送鮮花給他,但是他覺得太浪費,總推說等到下次再買,結果卻是在她死後,用鮮花佈置她的靈堂。這不是太蠢愚了嗎?!等到......、等到.....,似乎我們所有的生命,都用在等待。

「等到我大學畢業以後,我就會如何如何」我們對自己說:
「等到我買房子以後!」
「等我最小的孩子結婚之後!」
「等我把這筆生意談成之後!」
「等到我死了以後」
人人都很願意犧牲當下,去換取未知的等待;犧牲今生今世的辛苦錢,去購買後世的安逸。

在台灣只要往有山的道路上走一走,就隨處都可看到「農舍」變「精舍」,山坡地變靈塔,無非也是為了等到死後,能圖個保障,不必再受苦。許多人認為必須等到某時或某事完成之後再採取行動。明天我就開始運動, 明天我就會對他好一點,下星期我們就找時間出去走走,退休後,我們就要好好享受一下.

然而,生活總是一直變動,環境總是不可預知,在現實生活中,各種突發狀況總是層出不窮。身為一個醫生,我所見過的死人,比一般人要來得多。這些人早上醒來時,原本預期過的是另一個平凡無奇的日子,沒想到一個意料之外的事;交通意外、 腦溢血、心臟病發作等等。剎那間生命的巨輪傾覆離軌,突然闖進一片黑暗之中。那麼我們要如何面對生命呢?我們毋需等到生活完美無瑕,也毋需等到一切都平穩,想做什麼,現在就可以開始做起。一個人永遠也無法預料未來,所以不要延緩想過的生活,不要吝於表達心中的話,因為生命只在一瞬間。

記住!給活人送一朵鮮花,強過給死人送貴重的花圈. 每個人的生命都有盡頭,許多人經常在生命即將結束時,才發現自己還有很多事沒有做,有許多話來不及說,這實在是人生最大的遺憾。別讓自己徒留「為時已晚」的空餘恨。逝者不可追,來者猶未卜,最珍貴、最需要即時掌握的「當下」,往往在這兩者蹉跎間,轉眼錯失。

人生短暫飄忽,包得有一首小詩這樣寫:
高天與原地,悠悠人生路;
行行向何方,轉眼即長暮。

正是道盡了人生如寄,轉眼即逝的惶恐。有許多事,在你還不懂得珍惜之前已成舊事;有許多人,在你還來不及用心之前 已成舊人。遺憾的事一再發生,但過後再追悔早知道如何如何」是沒有用的,「那時候」已經過去,你追念的人也已走過了你.

一句瑞典格言說:「我們老得太快,卻聰明得太遲。」

不管你是否察覺,生命都一直在前進人生並未售來回票,失去的便永遠不再將希望寄予「等到方便的時間才享受」. 我們不知失去了多少可能的幸福, 不要再等待有一天你「可以鬆口氣」,或是「麻煩都過去了」。

生命中大部分的美好事物都是短暫易逝的,享受它們、品嚐它們,善待你周圍的每一個人,別把時間浪費在等待所有難題的「完滿結局」上。死亡也許是免費的 ─ 但是,卻要付出生命的代價。勸大家一句話:“把握當下,莫等待”

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Don't call home for money!

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream,

"Where did you get that car?"

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents.

We know what a Porsche costs.."

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."

So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they asked.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. Don't know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."

在職場不做徒勞無功的事

读过这样的一个文章:

記得以前有位同事離職前多拉了幾個人走,以為會對公司的業務造成影響,經我觀察的結果做了結論:完全沒有影響. 缺人找人,頂多資深員工辛苦點,對公司來說, “所有員工在職時都很重要,離職後都不重要”,沒有一個員工是非留不可的,這似乎就是職場常態.

近20年以來,我長時間在美台兩地以理財專家的立埸談理財,幫助客戶及社會大眾做好理財.我常強調做好理財的目的是錢盡其用,讓錢發揮最大的效用,一個相關的重要原則就是凡事講究划算.我覺得以這樣的現實觀點來看工作,和我倡議的『回到蠻荒』觀點倒是有相通的地方,那就是不做徒勞無功的事,或沒有成果的事.蠻荒的動物都能秉持這樣的原則工作.所以依現實的原則看工作,現代人工作的目的應該只是為了能賺錢,除此以外無他.

以下是探討這類觀點的專家所提供的一些工作原則,不妨做為參考:

原則一:工作真的只是一份工作
不要期待工作與生活能兼顧,事實上也沒幾個人能將工作與生活成功的整合起來,工作並不是生活,我們工作是為了要過生活,或保有自己所喜歡的生活.想想看,你一天或一個禮拜能有多少時間和家人相處,或和親朋好友去做一些你喜歡做的事,就可以知道要兼顧工作與生活是不可能的. 工作只是工作,目的是為了賺錢.

原則二:不要害怕換工作
工作既是為了賺錢,只要可能賺更多錢,或做起來更愉快、更有滿足慼,何妨就換工作?而且,以這樣的原則換工作,收入當然會越換越多,跳槽可能也會變得稀鬆平常.只要每次工作時都全力以赴,有稱職的表現,對雇主和業界都能交代,應該隨時可以找到下一個工作的機會.

原則三:一鳥在手勝過十鳥在林
很多公司都聲稱他們有優渥的福利制度,包括退休金計劃.可是不斷有事實告訴我們,越來越多的人在屆滿退休之前就失去工作了.所以爭取眼前的福利可能更實際,比較值得期待,例如包括健康醫療保障在內的團體保險、托嬰照顧、親職休假、績效獎金的分發,增加加班費或年終獎金等等.

原則四:謀生本事不厭其多
新世紀的工作與收入可能會變得不穩定,產業的興衰或輪替也會變得快速無比,在同一家企業內辛苦一輩子可能會以失業收場.所以橫向拓展各方面的技能,會比縱向的在企業的組織內向上攀爬追求位高權重還要實際. 其實現在已有不少企業也 “學會”了一些聰明的技巧,
對授予好聽的高階職位並不吝惜,可以讓你擁有耀眼的頭銜,但對薪資增加並沒有多大幫助。與其追求這種虛名,不如讓自己能具備十八般武藝可以多方面賺錢,隨時跳槽.

原則五:做好份內工作就回家去
再提醒你,工作只是工作,公司少了你一個人的工作,照樣可以運轉下去.踏實的學習你的工作所該具備的技能,努力做好你的工作,但不要奢望你可以憑一己之力多為公司創造多少業績或產能.不要因此耗掉你大量的私人時間,讓自己從生活中抽離出來.記住,做好自己份內的工作,然後回家去.

原則六:遠離辦公室政治
你工作的目的是為賺取合理的收入,而不是追求虛名與權位,所以不用在心思在辦公室政治上.當紅炸子雞可能因改朝換代而去職走路,被冰凍的失志衰老也可能鹹魚翻身.與其耗費時間介入這些無實際意義的辦公室鬥爭,不如多花時間在自己的家庭。

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Husband for Sale

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.

When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:- "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights.

You may choose any Item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Husband Smart but Wife Smarter

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends.

We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box?

We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up"

"Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he came home, a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

You'll love the answer...


The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box.....

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Father and Son

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, what is this?"

At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff.. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary:-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

So... If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word; be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".

Friday, March 16, 2007

Funny sayings

1. FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman. Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him. Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time? It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE
and we are FOUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY to GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if you are still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government does NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Don't temp woman!

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for
you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"

The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said

"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are far too intelligent!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Importance of having Breakfast

Breakfast can help prevent strokes, heart attack and sudden death. Advice on not to skip breakfast!

Healthy living
For those who always skip breakfast, you should stop that habit now! You've heard many times that "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Now, recent research confirms that one of the worst practices you can develop may be avoiding breakfast.

Why?
Because the frequency of heart attack, sudden death, and stroke peaks between 6: 00a.m. and noon , with the highest incidence being between 8: 00a.m. and 10:00a.m.What mechanism within the body could account for this significant jump in sudden death in the early morning hours?

We may have an Answer
Platelet, tiny elements in the blood that keep us from bleeding to Death if we get a cut, can clump together inside our arteries due to cholesterol or laque buildup in the artery lining. It is in the morning hours that platelets become the most activated and tend to form these internal blood clots at the greatest frequency.

However, eating even a very light breakfast prevents the morning platelet activation that is associated with heart attacks and strokes. Studies performed at Memorial University in St.Johns, Newfoundland found that eating a light, very low-fat breakfast was critical in modifying the morning platelet activation. Subjects in the study consumed either low-fat or fat-free yogurt, orange juice, fruit, and a source of protein coming from yogurt or fat-free milk. So if you skip breakfast, it's important that you change this practice immediately in light of this research. Develop a simple plan to eat cereal, such as oatmeal or Bran Flakes, along with six ounces of grape juice or orange juice, and perhaps a piece of fruit. This simple plan will keep your platelets from sticking together, keep blood clots from forming, and perhaps head off a potential Heart Attack or stroke. So never ever skip breakfast

Friday, March 09, 2007

另一个角度看生活。。。

有一个人在森林中漫游的时候, 突然遇见了一只饥饿的老虎, 老虎大吼一声就扑了上来. 他立刻用生平最大的力气和最快的速度逃开, 但是老虎紧追不舍,他一直跑一直跑一直跑, 最后被老虎逼入了断崖边上。站在悬崖边上,他想:"与其被老虎捉到,活活被咬、肢解, 还不如跳入悬崖,说不定还有一线生机."

他纵身跳入悬崖,非常幸运的卡在一棵树上, 那是长在断崖边的梅树,树上结满了梅子. 正在庆幸的时候,他听到断崖深处传来巨大的吼声, 往崖底望去,原来有一只凶猛的狮子正抬头看着他, 狮子的声音使他心颤,但转念一想: "狮子与老虎是相同的猛兽,被甚么吃掉,都是一样的."

当他一放下心, 又听见了一阵声音, 仔细一看,一黑一白的两只老鼠, 正用力地咬着梅树的树干。他先是一阵惊慌, 立刻又放心了, 他想: "被老鼠咬断树干跌死,总比被狮子咬好."

情绪平复下来后,他感到肚子有点饿, 看到梅子长得正好,就采了一些吃起来. 他觉得一辈子从没吃过那么好吃的梅子, 找到一个三角形树丫休息,他想着: "既然迟早都要死,不如在死前好好睡上一觉吧!"

他在树上沉沉的睡去了. 睡醒之后, 他发现黑白老鼠不见了,老虎、狮子也不见了. 他顺着树枝, 小心翼翼的攀上悬崖,终于脱离险境. 原来就在他睡着的时候,饥饿的老虎按捺不住, 终于大吼一声, 跳下悬崖。黑白老鼠听到老虎的吼声, 惊慌逃走了. 跳下悬崖的老虎与崖下的狮子展开激烈的打斗, 双双负伤逃走了。

由我们诞生那一刻开始, 苦难.就像饥饿的老虎一直追赶着我们, 死亡,就像一头凶猛的狮子,一直在悬崖的尽头等待, 白天和黑夜的交替,就像黑白老鼠, 不停地正用力咬着我们暂时栖身的生活之树, 总有一天我们会落入狮子的口中.

既然知道了生命中最坏的情景是死亡,唯一的路, 就是安然地享受树上甜美的果子,然后安心地睡觉, 好好的享受你在世上的每一分每一秒. 如果刚才你和另一半或是和家人为了芝麻绿豆的事闹翻了, 现在头顶还在生烟的话, 请你看看那晴朗的天空和那飘渺的白云,其实你又错过了美好的一天呀 ! 有些朋友虽然不常联络,却偶尔寄个E-mail、也许是一些笑话、温馨小品, 或是小游戏给你,这表示他一直在关心着你,他将你放在心里,也珍惜彼此的友谊。

因此,要时时抱有感恩的心!脚走好路!身行善事,惜缘种福...... 。

金針菇抗癌成功殺死95% 癌細胞

吃金針菇可以殺死癌細胞,根據新加坡大學的最新研究。由於金針菇含有一種多醣體, 可以加強人體免疫系統, 在動物實驗中,這種特殊的蛋白質,可以有效殺死95% 的癌細.

記者:「吃火鍋時,大家都不會忘記加入這個金針菇,而根據新加坡國立大學的最新研究發現,這個金針菇裡面的多醣體,具有抗癌的功效。」

細細長長的金針菇, 30 元就可以買一大盤,這樣的便宜貨竟然具有抗癌功效,為什麼這麼神奇?

陽明藥理研究所教授潘懷宗:「有這個多醣體,吃進去之後,可以促進身體所謂自然殺傷細胞的增生而變 多,因為它變多、變強了以後,就能夠撲殺身體裡面的癌細胞、撲殺身體裡面的病毒,所以可以造成所謂的預防癌症,或者治療癌症這樣的效果。」

用自體細胞殺死腫瘤的免疫療法,是當今醫界最紅的抗癌秘方.

美國最新 研究,先抽血 20C 在體外利用特殊蛋白質,讓自然殺手細胞倍增,成功撲殺血癌細胞。

潘懷宗:「它可以在體外,將人類的自然殺傷細胞,能夠增強到幾萬倍,再利用高度的純化技術,這第二個比較高級的技術,純化出純的自然殺傷細胞,再用點滴靜脈注射的方式,滴回你自己的身體裡面。」

專家說,這種方法,跟吃金針菇是同樣的原理,吃的時候,用火鍋烹調最好,而且煮的時間不要超過三分鐘,煮得太爛,裡面可以殺死癌細胞的多醣體,可能就沒有效了。

Sunday, March 04, 2007

選一間鬼屋看你適合什麼工作

你在旅行時不小心在荒山野嶺迷了路,這時天色以晚,你發覺到附近只有一間小屋子, 逼不得已只好向主人借宿。可是屋主老夫婦卻告訴你房子的四間房間都有鬧鬼: 一定要住下來的情況下, 你會選擇哪間房間?

A.有個人頭從窗外惡狠很瞪著你睡覺的房間;
B. 廁所會傳來開關門聲和女人嘆息聲的房間;
C. 你一睡上去床就開始搖晃不讓你睡的房間;
D. 半夜醒來看到一個無頭鬼坐在床邊的房間。


測驗結果

這個測驗主要是看你的工作適性。每個人長大獨立之後,面對生活開銷或是家計 壓力都不得不到外面去工作賺錢。可是當你面對報紙上、網路上密密麻麻、多如牛毛的工作機會,常常會一下子就迷失了,不知道自己的方
向到底在哪裡?究竟自己比較適合從事哪方面的職業?


A. 有個人頭從窗外惡狠很瞪著你睡覺的房間
你比較適合 SOHO一族,或是醫生、律師等職業。這類型的工作多半是擁有自己的專屬空間,有一定的收入來源,而且比較固定不容易被外界所影響者。有人從窗外瞪你也 代表來自於周遭對你的不滿和異樣的眼光;在窗外代表不容易對你造成影響。例如老師的工作,不管你教得再爛,甚至被批評到一文不值,可是並不會讓你因此丟了飯碗。其他 例如公務員的肥缺也都可以歸類於此。

B. 廁所會傳來開關門聲和女人嘆息聲的房間
你比較喜歡的是一份很穩定的工作,尤其是公司的主管(員工 )等比較不需要到外面 拋 頭露面的內勤工作。廁所會傳來開關門聲和女人嘆息聲代表你會受到來自於上級的壓力或是主管的責罵;比較起來,你寧願整天待在辦公室裡吹冷氣也勝過到外面去忍受風吹日曬;其他諸如高科技產業的技師或工程師,企業的網路工程師或是會計等等也都是屬於此類。

C. 你一睡上去床就開始搖晃不讓你睡的房間
你比較適合從事業務的工作。你的個性比較好動,無法整天坐在辦公室甚至悶出病來,你也不喜歡受拘束,所以你的職業也比較傾向於可以常常到外頭走動的工作,像是拉保險、直銷等等。床開始搖晃不讓你睡代表你做
業務時,拜訪客戶常常會發生的拒絕、碰壁。其他像是大老闆的司機或是送收貨員也都可以歸於此類。

D. 半夜醒來看到一個無頭鬼坐在床邊的房間
你適合從事接近群眾的工作。例如電視明星、立委等需要群眾支持的工作都算是。無頭鬼坐在床邊代表這個人和你密不可分,可是你又無法看清他是誰。就像棒球明星會累積一定的球迷,也靠球迷吃飯,可是又無法知道誰是誰一樣。其他像是公司的公關、便利商店的店員或是銀行的服務人員也都可以歸於此類。

四個都不敢睡 .... 偶可能會失業.....

Thursday, March 01, 2007

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again........

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity..boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Friday, February 02, 2007

心理小測驗

正在上班一個朋友神祕地對我說︰“做一個心理小測驗如何?”

“說吧﹗” 我的好奇心頓起。

“有五種動物,聽好了︰老虎,猴子,孔雀,大象和狗。你到一個從未去過的原始森林探險,帶著這五種動物,四周環境危險重重,你迫于無奈要把他們一個個放棄。你會按什麼次序把他們放棄呢?”

考慮良久之后我說︰“孔雀、老虎、狗、猴子、大象。”

“哈哈哈──”朋友大笑起來,說︰“果然不出所料﹗你也首先放棄孔雀。”

難道孔雀意味著什麼嗎?

朋友向我解釋︰孔雀代表你的伴侶,愛人;老虎代表你對金錢和權力的慾望;大象代表你的父母;狗代表你的朋友;猴子代表你的子女。這個問題的答案意味著你在困苦的環境中首先放棄的是什麼。

孔雀代表我的愛人?我一下子驚呆了。在困難的環境中我會首先放棄我的愛人, 在選擇中我為什麼首先放棄孔雀呢?因為我覺得孔雀是在艱苦的環境中最不能幫助我的東西。

我對朋友的評價很不以為然,于是開始讓很多人也來做這個遊戲。正如朋友所說的那樣,無一例外首先放棄的都是孔雀。當我最後揭示答案,許多人的回應也正如我的回應一樣。甚至有人說,設計這個遊戲的人,一定心理不正常。

有一天我給一位朋友打電話的時候突然想起了這個遊戲,于是也讓他做。

這個男人考慮許久之后對我說︰猴子,老虎,大象,狗,孔雀。我大吃一驚,他是我遇到的唯一一個最後選擇放棄孔雀的人。

“為什麼最後放棄孔雀?”我一個勁地追問。

他對我的問題也大吃一驚,說︰“你想想,在這所有動物中,唯有孔雀是最沒有保護自己的能力的,我怎么能輕易放棄,讓它陷于險境呢?”

我頓時明白了我的悲哀。在我們選擇的過程中,我們太多地考慮了別人對我們的付出,而沒有想到別人需要我們做出什麼樣的付出。

點評
孔雀的悲哀?其實就是我們自己的悲哀。如果孔雀代表的就是自己的愛人,
那么是不是恰好應証了古話︰夫妻本是同林鳥,大難臨時各自飛。

那個最後選擇放棄孔雀的人,一定是個重情重義懂得愛有責任感的英雄﹗, 想一想,我們可以為自己的家人做些什麼,如果萬一自己不能為他們做些什麼的時候,我們能夠為他們留下些什麼?

Sunday, January 28, 2007

How to work smart!

An old man who lived in Idaho wanted to hoe his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to help him, was in prison. He wrote a letter to the boy and described his predicament.

Dear son,
I'm feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I am just getting too old to be digging up the garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you will dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad
A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Son

The next morning, at four, FBI agents and the local police showed up at the old man's house and dug up the entire garden. They found nothing, apologized, and left.
The same day, he received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do, under this circumstances.

Love,Son

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Jokes of the day

Who is stupid?
Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one. "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid. If you don't believe me I'll show you."

He called his driver Ah Beng over and said, "Ah Beng, here is a $10 note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes".

To which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! Right away, Sir!" and rushed off to the Showroom.

The rich man then turned to his friend and said, “See, I told you he was stupid."

The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." And he called his driver, Ali. "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home."

To which Ali said, "Yes Sir! Right away,Sir!" and ran home.

“See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."

Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooooooo stupid. He gave me $10 and asked me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes..... Doesn't he know that today is Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!"

Ali replied, "You think your boss is stupid? My boss even worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home... He got handphone what, he can just call up to check lah, stupid!!!"

CAR
Beng and Seng excited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake,
Beng asked, 'Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it.'

'No, that won't work' answered Seng. 'People will think we're trying to break in.'

Then Beng suggested, 'What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?'

'No,' said Seng. 'People will think we're too dumb not to use a coat hanger.'

The exciting Beng shouted, 'we'd better think of something fast.
It's starting to rain and the sunroof is open!'

PIZZA
Ah Beng ordered a pizza and the waitress asked if she should cut it in six or twelve pieces. Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.

DEAD BIRD
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Ah Beng looked skyward and said "Where, Where got?"

NOT MY BROTHER!
A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!"

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name!

Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, DeNephew.

ITALIAN
To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered.

"We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.

"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner."

Monday, January 22, 2007

Fax to Wife and Reply

A businessman sends his wife a fax:

"To my dear wife:You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you at 54 years can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this fax, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary in the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be perturbed. I shall be back home before midnight."

When the man came home, he found the following letter on the dining-room table: "My dear husband: I received your fax and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be in the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, my tennis coach, who like your secretary is also 18 years old. As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation... although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 into 18... And therefore I won't be back before lunchtime tomorrow !

Monday, January 15, 2007

Vanilla Pudding Robbery

This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl o f vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold.

Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read:
IRELAND 'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING...

Monday, January 08, 2007

Saving up for 75 years!

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23.

The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.

But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life. She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel.

The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling analligator!"

The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!"

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Fart

Something about fart... !

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that is where shitty ideas come from!