A husband and wife are travelling by car from Brisbane to Melbourne .
After almost ten hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest.. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $450.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $450.00.
When the clerk tells him $450.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for the husband and wife to use.
'But we didn't use them,' the man complains
'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood, and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows, 'complains the man again.
'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'
The Manager is unmoved and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. 'But sir,' he says, 'this cheque is only made out for $50.00.'
'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $400 for sleeping with my wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have!'
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Evacuation Drill
In a large multinational company..............
A fire alarm rang at 4 PM in a large office when almost all employees were in office (approx 5000). As usual the entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & all employees gathered outside the office in the designated area waiting for further announcement.
The Security Officer in charge made the following announcement: "Dear employees - with sincere regret I have been asked to announce that for many of you it will be your last evacuation drill. Due to the recession the company is laying off almost 50% of its employees. So when this announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the building and if your swipe card does not work then it means you have been laid off in which case you will not be allowed inside and all your belongings
will be couriered to you by tomorrow.
The Company has used this innovative approach as we didn't want to fill up the email box with lay-off mails and good bye mails in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside the office and the consequent security issue for all staff.
Hope you have had a rewarding career with us and all the best ahead.
Please move back in & try your luck".
A fire alarm rang at 4 PM in a large office when almost all employees were in office (approx 5000). As usual the entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & all employees gathered outside the office in the designated area waiting for further announcement.
The Security Officer in charge made the following announcement: "Dear employees - with sincere regret I have been asked to announce that for many of you it will be your last evacuation drill. Due to the recession the company is laying off almost 50% of its employees. So when this announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the building and if your swipe card does not work then it means you have been laid off in which case you will not be allowed inside and all your belongings
will be couriered to you by tomorrow.
The Company has used this innovative approach as we didn't want to fill up the email box with lay-off mails and good bye mails in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside the office and the consequent security issue for all staff.
Hope you have had a rewarding career with us and all the best ahead.
Please move back in & try your luck".
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Best Lawyer Story Of The Year!
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued.. and WON!
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be 'unacceptable fire' and was obligated to pay the claim! Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the 'fires'.
After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be 'unacceptable fire' and was obligated to pay the claim! Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the 'fires'.
After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
放冷槍
80歲老頭娶20少女，不久少女懷孕，老頭帶少女去醫院檢查。
老頭問醫生："是不是我的?"
醫生：“我先給你講個故事。一個人拿著一把水槍在森林裡，遇上一隻惡虎，那人慌張一抬槍，老虎死了。為什么？”
老頭：“肯定有人在后面放冷槍！？”
醫生不語……
老頭問醫生："是不是我的?"
醫生：“我先給你講個故事。一個人拿著一把水槍在森林裡，遇上一隻惡虎，那人慌張一抬槍，老虎死了。為什么？”
老頭：“肯定有人在后面放冷槍！？”
醫生不語……
Monday, June 02, 2008
結婚
結婚不是什麼 人生大事，只是合法生人的一道手續。
婚姻是牢籠，所以有些男女在婚後，莫不喜出、望外。
完全相反的個性，結婚是互補 ，離婚時叫 個性不合 。
避孕的效果：不成功，便成人 。
女人的折舊率 剎是驚人，從新娘變成老婆，只消一夜的光景。
試婚的最大壞處，是可能會...今日試 ，今日畢。
在愛情中，有人視死如歸 ；在婚姻中，有人視歸如死。
熱戀時，再誇張的謊言都聽成是情話 ；結婚後，再認真的情話都聽成是廢話 。
紅顏多薄命，黃臉多認命 。
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Her name is ROSE
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."
"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.
We became instant friends. Everyday for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up..
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.
If I am eighty -seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose" She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a living by what we get, we make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. If you choose not, then you refuse to bless someone else. "Good friends are like stars..........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."
She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."
"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.
We became instant friends. Everyday for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up..
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.
If I am eighty -seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose" She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a living by what we get, we make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. If you choose not, then you refuse to bless someone else. "Good friends are like stars..........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."
Monday, November 12, 2007
A Message by George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlin, a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor and author of the 70's and 80's. This comedian is very well noted for his political and black humour. Read something written by him: it is so very eloquent...and so very appropriate: The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Winners and Losers
If you ask me what is the main difference between winners and losers? I would say it is personal "Attitude". Positive attitude always make things happen! Find the below quote somewhere, very interesting to reflect positive attitude (winner) and negative attitude (loser). Let's share.
Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.
Winners see the grains;
Losers see the pain.
Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.
Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.
Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.
Winners makes commitments;
Losers makes promises.
Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.
Winner always has a programmed
Loser always has an excuse.
Winner says "Let me do it for you";
Loser says "That is not my job".
Winners say "I must do something";
Losers say "Something must be done".
Winner is always a part of the answer;
Loser is always a part of the problem.
Winner sees an answer for every problem;
Loser sees a problem for every answer.
Winners believe in win/win;
Loser believe for them to win, someone has to lose.
Winner says "It may be difficult but it is possible";
Loser says "It may be possible but it is too difficult".
Winner makes a mistake. He says "I was wrong";
Loser makes a mistake; he says "It wasn't my fault".
Michael Schumacher's career has always been full of controversies, but you can't deny that he has champion's attitude.
Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.
Winners see the grains;
Losers see the pain.
Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.
Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.
Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.
Winners makes commitments;
Losers makes promises.
Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.
Winner always has a programmed
Loser always has an excuse.
Winner says "Let me do it for you";
Loser says "That is not my job".
Winners say "I must do something";
Losers say "Something must be done".
Winner is always a part of the answer;
Loser is always a part of the problem.
Winner sees an answer for every problem;
Loser sees a problem for every answer.
Winners believe in win/win;
Loser believe for them to win, someone has to lose.
Winner says "It may be difficult but it is possible";
Loser says "It may be possible but it is too difficult".
Winner makes a mistake. He says "I was wrong";
Loser makes a mistake; he says "It wasn't my fault".
Michael Schumacher's career has always been full of controversies, but you can't deny that he has champion's attitude.
Monday, October 08, 2007
选择
是不是每个人都有权力去选择自己的生活方式？还是每个生活方式都是权力的选择？
There are two ways to live your life,
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)
There are two ways to live your life,
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)
幸福是什麼？
有一個人，他生前善良而且熱心助人，所以在他死後，昇上天堂，做了天使。他當了天使後，仍時常到凡間幫助人，希望能感受到幸福的味道。
有一天，他遇見一個農夫，農夫的樣子非常煩惱，他向天使訴說︰「我家的水牛剛死了，沒牠幫忙犁田，那我怎能下田工作呢？」於是天使賜給他一隻健壯的水牛，農夫很高興，天使在他身上感受到幸福的味道。
又有一天，他遇見一個男人，男人非常沮喪，他向天使訴說︰「我的錢都被騙光了，沒有盤纏回鄉。」於是天使送給他銀兩做路費，男人很高興天使在他身上感受到幸福的味道。
又一日，他遇見一個詩人，詩人年青、英俊、有才華而且富有，妻子貌美又溫柔，但他卻過得不快樂。
天使問他︰「你不快樂嗎？我能幫你嗎？」
詩人對天使說︰「我什麼也有，只欠一樣東西，你能夠給我嗎？」
天使回答說︰「可以。你要什麼我也可以給你。」
詩人直直的望著天使︰「我想要的是幸福。」
這下子把天使難倒了，天使想了想，說︰「我明白了。」
然後把詩人所擁有的都拿走。天使拿走詩人的才華，毀去他的容貌，奪去他的財產，和他妻子的性命，天使做完這些事後，便離去了。
一個月後，天使再回到詩人的身邊，他那時餓得半死，衣衫襤褸地在躺在地上掙扎。
於是，天使把他的一切還給他，然後，又離去了。
半個月後，天使再去看看詩人。這次，詩人摟著妻子，不住向天使道謝，因為，他得到幸福了。
你曾覺得孤獨？你嚐過幸福的味道？孤寂、璀璨本就是形容詞，所有的形容詞都是比較的。沒嘗過孤寂，又怎知何謂璀璨的人生？孤寂又豈非人生之必經？人很奇怪，每每要到了失去後，才懂得珍惜。其實，幸褔早就放就在你的面前。肚子餓壞的時候，有一碗熱騰騰的拉麵放在你眼前，幸福。累得半死的時候，撲上軟軟的床，也是幸福。哭得要命的時候，旁邊溫柔的遞來一張紙巾，更是幸福。幸福本沒有絕對的定義，平常一些小事也往往能撼動你的心靈，幸福與否，只在乎你的心怎麼看待。朋友，你的心，充滿了幸福嗎？還是，溢滿了哀愁？愉快的心情，敲你的心門時，你就該大大的開放你的心門，讓愉快與你同在.
有一天，他遇見一個農夫，農夫的樣子非常煩惱，他向天使訴說︰「我家的水牛剛死了，沒牠幫忙犁田，那我怎能下田工作呢？」於是天使賜給他一隻健壯的水牛，農夫很高興，天使在他身上感受到幸福的味道。
又有一天，他遇見一個男人，男人非常沮喪，他向天使訴說︰「我的錢都被騙光了，沒有盤纏回鄉。」於是天使送給他銀兩做路費，男人很高興天使在他身上感受到幸福的味道。
又一日，他遇見一個詩人，詩人年青、英俊、有才華而且富有，妻子貌美又溫柔，但他卻過得不快樂。
天使問他︰「你不快樂嗎？我能幫你嗎？」
詩人對天使說︰「我什麼也有，只欠一樣東西，你能夠給我嗎？」
天使回答說︰「可以。你要什麼我也可以給你。」
詩人直直的望著天使︰「我想要的是幸福。」
這下子把天使難倒了，天使想了想，說︰「我明白了。」
然後把詩人所擁有的都拿走。天使拿走詩人的才華，毀去他的容貌，奪去他的財產，和他妻子的性命，天使做完這些事後，便離去了。
一個月後，天使再回到詩人的身邊，他那時餓得半死，衣衫襤褸地在躺在地上掙扎。
於是，天使把他的一切還給他，然後，又離去了。
半個月後，天使再去看看詩人。這次，詩人摟著妻子，不住向天使道謝，因為，他得到幸福了。
你曾覺得孤獨？你嚐過幸福的味道？孤寂、璀璨本就是形容詞，所有的形容詞都是比較的。沒嘗過孤寂，又怎知何謂璀璨的人生？孤寂又豈非人生之必經？人很奇怪，每每要到了失去後，才懂得珍惜。其實，幸褔早就放就在你的面前。肚子餓壞的時候，有一碗熱騰騰的拉麵放在你眼前，幸福。累得半死的時候，撲上軟軟的床，也是幸福。哭得要命的時候，旁邊溫柔的遞來一張紙巾，更是幸福。幸福本沒有絕對的定義，平常一些小事也往往能撼動你的心靈，幸福與否，只在乎你的心怎麼看待。朋友，你的心，充滿了幸福嗎？還是，溢滿了哀愁？愉快的心情，敲你的心門時，你就該大大的開放你的心門，讓愉快與你同在.
獅子或狼？
一个很好的生活写实...
上帝把兩群羊放在草原上，一群在南，一群在北。 上帝還給羊群找了兩種天敵，一種是獅子，一種是狼。
上帝對羊群說:「如果你們要狼，就給一隻，任它隨意咬你們。 如果你們要獅子，就給兩頭，你們可以在兩頭獅子中任選一頭，還可以隨時更換。」
這道題的問題就是：如果你也在羊群中，你是選狼還是選獅子？ 很容易做出選擇吧？好吧，記住你的選擇，接著往下看。
南邊那群羊想，獅子比狼兇猛得多，還是要狼吧。於是，它們就要了一隻狼。 北邊那群羊想，獅子雖然比狼兇猛得多，但我們有選擇權，還是要獅子吧。 於是，它們就要了兩頭獅子。
那隻狼進了南邊的羊群後，就開始吃羊。狼身體小，食量也小，一隻羊夠它吃幾天了。這樣羊群幾天才被追殺一次。北邊那群羊挑選了一頭獅子，另一頭則留在上帝那裡。這頭獅子進入羊群後，也開始吃羊。獅子不但比狼兇猛，而且食量驚人，每天都要吃一隻羊。這樣羊群就天天都要被追殺，驚恐萬狀。羊群趕緊請上帝換一頭獅子。不料，上帝保管的那頭獅子一直沒有吃東西，正飢餓難耐，它撲進羊群，比前面那頭獅子咬得更瘋狂。羊群一天到晚只是逃命，連草都快吃不成了。南邊的羊群慶幸自己選對了天敵，又嘲笑北邊的羊群沒有眼光。北邊的羊群非常後悔，向上帝大倒苦水，要求更換天敵，改要一隻狼。上帝說：「天敵一旦確定，就不能更改，必須世代相隨，你們唯一的權利是在兩頭獅子中選擇。」北邊的羊群只好把兩頭獅子不斷更換。可兩頭獅子同樣凶殘，換哪一頭都比南邊的羊群悲慘得多，它們索性不換了，讓一頭獅子吃得膘肥體壯，另一頭獅子則餓得精瘦。眼看那頭瘦獅子快要餓死了，羊群才請上帝換一頭。這頭瘦獅子經過長時間的飢餓後，慢慢悟出了一個道理: 自己雖然兇猛異常，一百隻羊都不是對手，可是自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的。羊群隨時可以把自己送回上帝那裡，讓自己飽受飢餓的煎熬，甚至有可能餓死。想通這個道理後，瘦獅子就對羊群特別客氣，只吃死羊和病羊，凡是健康的羊它都不吃了。羊群喜出望外，有幾隻小羊提議乾脆固定要瘦獅子，不要那頭肥獅子了。一隻老公羊提醒說:「瘦獅子是怕我們送它回上帝那裡挨餓，才對我們這麼好。萬一肥獅子餓死了，我們沒有了選擇的餘地，瘦獅子很快就會恢復凶殘的本性。」原先膘肥體壯的那頭獅子，已經餓得只剩下皮包骨頭了，並且也懂得了自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的道理。為了能在草原上待久一點，它竟百般討好起羊群來。而那頭被送交給上帝的獅子，則難過得流下了眼淚。北邊的羊群在經歷了重重磨難後，終於過上了自由自在的生活。
南邊的那群羊的處境卻越來越悲慘了，那隻狼因為沒有競爭對手，羊群又無法更換它， 它就胡作非為，每天都要咬死幾十隻羊，這隻狼早已不吃羊肉了，它只喝羊心裡的血。 它還不准羊叫，哪只叫就立刻咬死哪只。 南邊的羊群只能在心中哀歎:「早知道這樣，還不如要兩頭獅子。」
上帝把兩群羊放在草原上，一群在南，一群在北。 上帝還給羊群找了兩種天敵，一種是獅子，一種是狼。
上帝對羊群說:「如果你們要狼，就給一隻，任它隨意咬你們。 如果你們要獅子，就給兩頭，你們可以在兩頭獅子中任選一頭，還可以隨時更換。」
這道題的問題就是：如果你也在羊群中，你是選狼還是選獅子？ 很容易做出選擇吧？好吧，記住你的選擇，接著往下看。
南邊那群羊想，獅子比狼兇猛得多，還是要狼吧。於是，它們就要了一隻狼。 北邊那群羊想，獅子雖然比狼兇猛得多，但我們有選擇權，還是要獅子吧。 於是，它們就要了兩頭獅子。
那隻狼進了南邊的羊群後，就開始吃羊。狼身體小，食量也小，一隻羊夠它吃幾天了。這樣羊群幾天才被追殺一次。北邊那群羊挑選了一頭獅子，另一頭則留在上帝那裡。這頭獅子進入羊群後，也開始吃羊。獅子不但比狼兇猛，而且食量驚人，每天都要吃一隻羊。這樣羊群就天天都要被追殺，驚恐萬狀。羊群趕緊請上帝換一頭獅子。不料，上帝保管的那頭獅子一直沒有吃東西，正飢餓難耐，它撲進羊群，比前面那頭獅子咬得更瘋狂。羊群一天到晚只是逃命，連草都快吃不成了。南邊的羊群慶幸自己選對了天敵，又嘲笑北邊的羊群沒有眼光。北邊的羊群非常後悔，向上帝大倒苦水，要求更換天敵，改要一隻狼。上帝說：「天敵一旦確定，就不能更改，必須世代相隨，你們唯一的權利是在兩頭獅子中選擇。」北邊的羊群只好把兩頭獅子不斷更換。可兩頭獅子同樣凶殘，換哪一頭都比南邊的羊群悲慘得多，它們索性不換了，讓一頭獅子吃得膘肥體壯，另一頭獅子則餓得精瘦。眼看那頭瘦獅子快要餓死了，羊群才請上帝換一頭。這頭瘦獅子經過長時間的飢餓後，慢慢悟出了一個道理: 自己雖然兇猛異常，一百隻羊都不是對手，可是自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的。羊群隨時可以把自己送回上帝那裡，讓自己飽受飢餓的煎熬，甚至有可能餓死。想通這個道理後，瘦獅子就對羊群特別客氣，只吃死羊和病羊，凡是健康的羊它都不吃了。羊群喜出望外，有幾隻小羊提議乾脆固定要瘦獅子，不要那頭肥獅子了。一隻老公羊提醒說:「瘦獅子是怕我們送它回上帝那裡挨餓，才對我們這麼好。萬一肥獅子餓死了，我們沒有了選擇的餘地，瘦獅子很快就會恢復凶殘的本性。」原先膘肥體壯的那頭獅子，已經餓得只剩下皮包骨頭了，並且也懂得了自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的道理。為了能在草原上待久一點，它竟百般討好起羊群來。而那頭被送交給上帝的獅子，則難過得流下了眼淚。北邊的羊群在經歷了重重磨難後，終於過上了自由自在的生活。
南邊的那群羊的處境卻越來越悲慘了，那隻狼因為沒有競爭對手，羊群又無法更換它， 它就胡作非為，每天都要咬死幾十隻羊，這隻狼早已不吃羊肉了，它只喝羊心裡的血。 它還不准羊叫，哪只叫就立刻咬死哪只。 南邊的羊群只能在心中哀歎:「早知道這樣，還不如要兩頭獅子。」
Saturday, July 07, 2007
World's Best Job
What is the world’s best job? CEO of Microsoft or Apple? Well, condom manufacturer, Durex Austalia, is now offering the world’s best job to Australians - a “sexecutive position”. Durex Australia will select 200 testers for sexecutives who have a strong desire to improve their current sex-life by bed-testing a number of Durex’s condom products such as Pleasuremax, Extended Pleasure or Featherlite. These testers need to report to Durex on how they feel and how the condoms perform while they are having sex. Sexecutives are unpaid but they will be up for free packs of Durex products plus a bonus price of A$1,000 ($854) for one lucky winner.
What criteria are needed to be an official condom tester? Interested applicants need to tell Durex why they want to apply and why they should be considered. Try it out if you have strong desire to improve your sex-life. With this job on your CV, you definitely have chance to show off to your mates on how good you are in bed!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
笑一笑，无烦恼！
強吻
這天，有個美麗的女性在公司外當清掃婦。
突然有位男性強吻了她就跑走了，
女性便大叫「那個人強吻了我，快抓住他」
路人便衝過去將男性抓住說
「小姐，妳要告他甚麼？」
女性害羞的說「沒有，我只想告訴他...我每個星期一、三、五都會來打掃...」
瞄準
甲婦：「如果妳的老公有外遇，妳會怎麼樣？」
乙婦：「我會睜一隻眼，閉一隻眼。」
甲婦：「喔！妳這麼大方！」
乙婦：「不，我是要用槍瞄準他。」
不穿胸罩
甲：「我帶你去一個全部女生都沒有穿胸罩的地方。」
乙：「真的嗎？在那裡，快帶我去。」
甲：「就在隔壁的幼稚園啊！」
修理
甲婦：「我家兒子經常弄壞電器，幸好他老爸會修理。」
乙婦：「我家孩子也經常破壞東西，? ]幸好他爸會修理。」
甲婦：「妳先生也會修理東西？」
乙婦：「不，他會修理孩子。」
保證 錯誤
一對夫婦結婚二十周年，老婆提議殺隻雞慶賀一番。
老公冷冷應道：「何必把二十年前的錯誤算在一隻雞頭上呢？」
比毒
話說我有兩位同事，一男一女，非常喜歡鬥嘴，平常沒事就互"虧"對方。有一天下班，那女生就請那男的順路載她一程，好不容易我男同事答應了，於是他們就去牽機車。
到了停放機車的地方，那女的看到那機車又破又爛，忍不住又"虧"了那男的一句 :「拜託,這麼破又爛的機車還要上鎖~~~~。」
那男的瞪大眼睛看著那女的說 :「那妳幹麼上妝。」
一對母女搭計程車經過某路段，只見一個個打扮妖艷的阻街女郎站在路旁「做生意」。
正值青春期的女兒好奇的問：「媽媽，那些女人站在路旁幹什麼？」
為了不影響女兒幼小純真的心靈，媽媽回答說：「那些女人在等老公。」
多嘴的計程車司機卻搭腔：「笑死人了，誰都嘛知道那些女人是妓女。」
媽媽狠生氣瞪了司機一眼。
女兒接著問：「媽媽，那妓女會不會生小孩。」
媽媽冷冷的道：「當然會啊，要不然誰來開計程車！」
一對夫妻在動物園隨著眾人圍著大狒狒。
老婆：『真奇怪，愈難看的動物愈多人看。』
老公：『噓~~！不要叫這麼大聲，大家都在看妳。』
某日，一位小姐去買肉圓。
小姐：『老闆，我要兩個小的帶走！』
由於生意好，過了一會兒，老闆怕忙中有錯，於是在下鍋前問：『小姐，妳那兩粒是小的嗎？』
該小姐臉一紅，恨恨地回了一句：『老闆，你那兩粒才是小的！』
有一個女人長得粉抱歉，長得醜就算了，還超沒有口德的；一次被安排相親，但是男主角遲遲未出現，這女人等得相當不耐煩，就開始破口大罵：哇哩勒...竟敢讓老娘等這麼久....*%!#%%*#&%@ 批哩啪啦地罵了一串；此時，男主角正好出現 ..............，是個胖子，這女人看了更是火，於是指著男主角鼻子，又是批哩啪啦的罵了一串....死胖子..%$^@#&..男主角終於發飆了，拍了桌子..大聲的說：
『竟然罵我胖.....。哼！至少我曾經瘦過，妳美過嗎？』
這天，有個美麗的女性在公司外當清掃婦。
突然有位男性強吻了她就跑走了，
女性便大叫「那個人強吻了我，快抓住他」
路人便衝過去將男性抓住說
「小姐，妳要告他甚麼？」
女性害羞的說「沒有，我只想告訴他...我每個星期一、三、五都會來打掃...」
瞄準
甲婦：「如果妳的老公有外遇，妳會怎麼樣？」
乙婦：「我會睜一隻眼，閉一隻眼。」
甲婦：「喔！妳這麼大方！」
乙婦：「不，我是要用槍瞄準他。」
不穿胸罩
甲：「我帶你去一個全部女生都沒有穿胸罩的地方。」
乙：「真的嗎？在那裡，快帶我去。」
甲：「就在隔壁的幼稚園啊！」
修理
甲婦：「我家兒子經常弄壞電器，幸好他老爸會修理。」
乙婦：「我家孩子也經常破壞東西，? ]幸好他爸會修理。」
甲婦：「妳先生也會修理東西？」
乙婦：「不，他會修理孩子。」
保證 錯誤
一對夫婦結婚二十周年，老婆提議殺隻雞慶賀一番。
老公冷冷應道：「何必把二十年前的錯誤算在一隻雞頭上呢？」
比毒
話說我有兩位同事，一男一女，非常喜歡鬥嘴，平常沒事就互"虧"對方。有一天下班，那女生就請那男的順路載她一程，好不容易我男同事答應了，於是他們就去牽機車。
到了停放機車的地方，那女的看到那機車又破又爛，忍不住又"虧"了那男的一句 :「拜託,這麼破又爛的機車還要上鎖~~~~。」
那男的瞪大眼睛看著那女的說 :「那妳幹麼上妝。」
一對母女搭計程車經過某路段，只見一個個打扮妖艷的阻街女郎站在路旁「做生意」。
正值青春期的女兒好奇的問：「媽媽，那些女人站在路旁幹什麼？」
為了不影響女兒幼小純真的心靈，媽媽回答說：「那些女人在等老公。」
多嘴的計程車司機卻搭腔：「笑死人了，誰都嘛知道那些女人是妓女。」
媽媽狠生氣瞪了司機一眼。
女兒接著問：「媽媽，那妓女會不會生小孩。」
媽媽冷冷的道：「當然會啊，要不然誰來開計程車！」
一對夫妻在動物園隨著眾人圍著大狒狒。
老婆：『真奇怪，愈難看的動物愈多人看。』
老公：『噓~~！不要叫這麼大聲，大家都在看妳。』
某日，一位小姐去買肉圓。
小姐：『老闆，我要兩個小的帶走！』
由於生意好，過了一會兒，老闆怕忙中有錯，於是在下鍋前問：『小姐，妳那兩粒是小的嗎？』
該小姐臉一紅，恨恨地回了一句：『老闆，你那兩粒才是小的！』
有一個女人長得粉抱歉，長得醜就算了，還超沒有口德的；一次被安排相親，但是男主角遲遲未出現，這女人等得相當不耐煩，就開始破口大罵：哇哩勒...竟敢讓老娘等這麼久....*%!#%%*#&%@ 批哩啪啦地罵了一串；此時，男主角正好出現 ..............，是個胖子，這女人看了更是火，於是指著男主角鼻子，又是批哩啪啦的罵了一串....死胖子..%$^@#&..男主角終於發飆了，拍了桌子..大聲的說：
『竟然罵我胖.....。哼！至少我曾經瘦過，妳美過嗎？』
Sunday, May 13, 2007
一種習慣叫 "理所當然"
上了一天班，回到家裡，丈夫只會粗聲粗氣的說：「飯煮好了沒？我餓死了。」對妻子的忙碌辛苦視而不見。
有一天，丈夫帶著未婚獨居的同事回家，同事一進門，老婆接過兩人的公事包和外套，丈夫還是老話：「飯煮好了沒？」
同事卻說：「大嫂，對不起，麻煩你了。」
看到一桌熱騰騰的飯菜，同事感動的差點掉下淚來：「一回家就有熱飯熱菜可吃的感覺真好！哪像我，每天回家都只有冰冷的牆壁迎接我。」然後埋頭拼命吃菜，彷彿一輩子都沒吃過飯的；對老婆的手藝讚不絕口，一盤簡單的炒青菜都被他說得像什麼山珍海味的。
老婆眉開眼笑，不斷的夾菜給同事，還說：「請用。」老公反而被冷落一邊。
吃完飯，老公照例拍拍屁股，想移到客廳沙發看電視、聊聊天，正想開口叫老婆倒茶；那個不識好歹的同事，竟然幫忙收拾碗筷，還不忘跟老婆道謝：「大嫂，謝謝你費心做這麼豐盛的晚餐請我。這些碗盤我來洗就好。」老婆當然不會讓客人洗碗。
這時，丈夫說：「泡茶。」
雞婆的同事居然說：「大嫂，你告訴我茶葉在哪裡，我自已來就好。」
同事走了之後，老婆一邊洗澡一邊唱歌。
丈夫問你為什麼那麼高興？
老婆說：「我煮了十幾年的菜給你吃，你從來也沒有跟我說一聲謝謝。吃完飯不但不幫忙洗碗，還要我泡茶侍候你。你看看你那個同事多懂事。」
老公回答：「因為他第一次來我們家啊，因為他不認識你啊，你等著看好了，看他結婚之後，會不會跟老婆說謝謝。」
為什麼？為什麼面對至親的人，我們總覺得一切都是理所當然，而忽略了最基本的禮貌和感謝？老婆為什麼一定要煮飯？因為那是她的工作、她份內的事？因為她愛你。丈夫為什麼要辛苦工作受到老闆指責、剝削仍然不敢辭職？因為他愛你。愛不是理所當然，愛是得來不易。
有人說，女人最傻，只要你給她一句讚美、一句感謝，她就會無怨無悔的為你做牛馬。
其實男人也是。在家的時候，放一缸熱水，接過他沈重的公事包，跟他說聲：老公你辛苦了。他在辦公室受到再大的委屈，也忘的一乾二淨。只是一句讚美，只是一句「請、謝謝、對不起」，愛情裡多了多少甜蜜和安慰？下一次，別忘了對你的愛人說：謝謝你。
幸福的長相：一句平凡的話語，卻有著神奇的力量。
靜思語
處理事情，感情要蘊藏在理智中；與人相處，則要把感情表現在理智上。
In handling matters, let your mind influence your heart. In dealing with people, let your heart influence your mind.
知識、習慣兩者是跟隨人最久的無形事物，知識隨著學習而不斷的增進，習慣隨著生活環境、交友而有好有壞。許多的壞習慣不用他人提醒，自己多多少少也有所知覺，而…「理所當然」的習慣卻是連旁人指出後都常常無所自覺 (親人常說，若以後沒我幫你處理事情時你就知道了)，而當失去時，才恍然大悟了解到「你就知道了」這句話的深沉含義而後悔不已。
人最常犯的錯誤就是愈是親密的人愈是看不見對方的好，總是覺的旁人的付出是理所當然的，自己卻連一點感謝的「言、行、舉止」都沒有。
人一生中需要兩種糧食，一種能填飽肚子，一種則是溫暖心靈，當家人為您我填飽肚子時，記的也要溫暖一下家人的心靈。
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Baby's first exam
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?
"Breast-fed," she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."
“I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?
"Breast-fed," she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."
“I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
Monday, May 07, 2007
JUST A TAP
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry, but you scared the day lights out of me.” The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
Thursday, April 26, 2007
原來很簡單
有一個人去應徵工作，隨手將走廊上的紙屑撿起來，放進了垃圾桶，被路過的口試官看到了，因此他得到了這份工作。
原來獲得賞識很簡單，養成好習慣就可以了。
有個小弟在腳踏車店當學徒，有人送來一部故障的腳踏車，小弟除了將車修好，還把車子整理的漂亮如新，其他學徒笑他多此一舉，後來雇主將腳踏車領回去的第二天，小弟被挖角到那位雇主的公司上班。
原來出人頭地很簡單，吃點虧就可以了。
有個小孩對母親說：「媽媽你今天好漂亮。」
母親回答：「為什麼。」小孩說「因為媽媽今天都沒有生氣。」
原來要擁有漂亮很簡單，只要不生氣就可以了。
有個牧場主人，叫他孩子每天在牧場上辛勤的工作，朋友對他說：「你不需要讓孩子如此辛苦，農作物一樣會長得很好的。」
牧場主人回答說：「我不是在培養農作物，我是在培養我的孩子。」
原來培養孩子很簡單，讓他吃點苦頭就可以了。
有一個網球教練對學生說：「如果一個網球掉進草堆裏，應該如何找？」
有人答：「從草堆中心線開始找。」
有人答：「從草堆的最凹處開始找。」
有人答：「從草最長的地方開始找。」
教練宣布正確答案：「按部就班的從草地的一頭，搜尋到草地的另一。」
原來尋找成功的方法很簡單，從一數到十不要跳過就可以了。
有一家商店經常燈火通明，有人問：「你們店裡到底是用什麼牌子的燈管？那麼耐用。」
店家回答說：「我們的燈管也常常壞，祇是我們壞了就換而已。」
原來保持明亮的方法很簡單，只要常常更換就可以了
住在田邊的青蛙對住在路邊的青蛙說：「你這裡太危險，搬來跟我住吧！」
路邊的青蛙說：「我已經習慣了，懶得搬了。」
幾天後，田邊的青蛙去探望路邊的青蛙，卻發現他已被車子壓死，暴屍在馬路上。
原來掌握命運的方法很簡單，遠離懶惰就可以了。
有一隻小雞破殼而出的時候，剛好有隻烏龜經過，從此以後小雞就背著蛋殼過一生。
原來脫離沉重的負荷很簡單，放棄固執成見就可以了。
有幾個小孩很想當天使，上帝給他們一人一個燭臺，叫他們要保持光亮，結果一天兩天過去了，上帝都沒來，所有小孩已不再擦拭那燭臺，有一天上帝突然造訪，每個人的燭臺都蒙上厚厚的灰塵，只有一個小孩大家都叫他笨小孩，因為上帝沒來，他也每天都擦拭，結果這個笨小孩成了天使。
原來當天使很簡單，只要實實在在去做就可以了。
有隻小豬，向神請求做祂的門徒，神欣然答應，剛好有一頭小牛由泥沼裡爬出來，渾身都是泥濘，神對小豬說：「去幫他洗洗身子吧！」小豬訝異的答道：「我是神的門徒，怎麼能去侍候那髒兮兮的小牛呢！」神說：「你不去侍候別人，別人怎會知道，你是我的門徒呢！」
原來要變成神很簡單，只要真心付出就可以了。
有一支掏金隊伍在沙漠中行走，大家都步伐沉重，痛苦不堪，只有一人快樂的走著，別人問：「你為何如此愜意？」他笑著：「因為我帶的東西最少。」
原來快樂很簡單，擁有少一點就可以了。
人生的光彩在哪裡？
早上醒來，光彩在臉上，充滿笑容的迎接未來。
到了中午，光彩在腰上，挺直腰桿的活在當下。
到了晚上，光彩在腳上，腳踏實地的做好自己。
原來人生也很簡單，只要能懂得「珍惜、知足、感恩」你就擁有了生命的光彩
原來獲得賞識很簡單，養成好習慣就可以了。
有個小弟在腳踏車店當學徒，有人送來一部故障的腳踏車，小弟除了將車修好，還把車子整理的漂亮如新，其他學徒笑他多此一舉，後來雇主將腳踏車領回去的第二天，小弟被挖角到那位雇主的公司上班。
原來出人頭地很簡單，吃點虧就可以了。
有個小孩對母親說：「媽媽你今天好漂亮。」
母親回答：「為什麼。」小孩說「因為媽媽今天都沒有生氣。」
原來要擁有漂亮很簡單，只要不生氣就可以了。
有個牧場主人，叫他孩子每天在牧場上辛勤的工作，朋友對他說：「你不需要讓孩子如此辛苦，農作物一樣會長得很好的。」
牧場主人回答說：「我不是在培養農作物，我是在培養我的孩子。」
原來培養孩子很簡單，讓他吃點苦頭就可以了。
有一個網球教練對學生說：「如果一個網球掉進草堆裏，應該如何找？」
有人答：「從草堆中心線開始找。」
有人答：「從草堆的最凹處開始找。」
有人答：「從草最長的地方開始找。」
教練宣布正確答案：「按部就班的從草地的一頭，搜尋到草地的另一。」
原來尋找成功的方法很簡單，從一數到十不要跳過就可以了。
有一家商店經常燈火通明，有人問：「你們店裡到底是用什麼牌子的燈管？那麼耐用。」
店家回答說：「我們的燈管也常常壞，祇是我們壞了就換而已。」
原來保持明亮的方法很簡單，只要常常更換就可以了
住在田邊的青蛙對住在路邊的青蛙說：「你這裡太危險，搬來跟我住吧！」
路邊的青蛙說：「我已經習慣了，懶得搬了。」
幾天後，田邊的青蛙去探望路邊的青蛙，卻發現他已被車子壓死，暴屍在馬路上。
原來掌握命運的方法很簡單，遠離懶惰就可以了。
有一隻小雞破殼而出的時候，剛好有隻烏龜經過，從此以後小雞就背著蛋殼過一生。
原來脫離沉重的負荷很簡單，放棄固執成見就可以了。
有幾個小孩很想當天使，上帝給他們一人一個燭臺，叫他們要保持光亮，結果一天兩天過去了，上帝都沒來，所有小孩已不再擦拭那燭臺，有一天上帝突然造訪，每個人的燭臺都蒙上厚厚的灰塵，只有一個小孩大家都叫他笨小孩，因為上帝沒來，他也每天都擦拭，結果這個笨小孩成了天使。
原來當天使很簡單，只要實實在在去做就可以了。
有隻小豬，向神請求做祂的門徒，神欣然答應，剛好有一頭小牛由泥沼裡爬出來，渾身都是泥濘，神對小豬說：「去幫他洗洗身子吧！」小豬訝異的答道：「我是神的門徒，怎麼能去侍候那髒兮兮的小牛呢！」神說：「你不去侍候別人，別人怎會知道，你是我的門徒呢！」
原來要變成神很簡單，只要真心付出就可以了。
有一支掏金隊伍在沙漠中行走，大家都步伐沉重，痛苦不堪，只有一人快樂的走著，別人問：「你為何如此愜意？」他笑著：「因為我帶的東西最少。」
原來快樂很簡單，擁有少一點就可以了。
人生的光彩在哪裡？
早上醒來，光彩在臉上，充滿笑容的迎接未來。
到了中午，光彩在腰上，挺直腰桿的活在當下。
到了晚上，光彩在腳上，腳踏實地的做好自己。
原來人生也很簡單，只要能懂得「珍惜、知足、感恩」你就擁有了生命的光彩
努力不一定會成功，但成功卻永遠需要努力
有兩個小學生，為了打羽毛球，把學校禮堂的一百多張長凳搬開，打完球再歸位，同學都笑他們笨，後來他們卻成了羽毛球國手。其實不怕麻煩，可以實現夢想。
有一個大型才藝比賽，主辦單位打破多年慣例，賽前先發紀念品給小朋友，有人說：「主辦單位有點笨，大家領了紀念品，閉幕典禮時就會很冷清。」結果閉幕時場面非常熱鬧。其實尊重，可以獲得支持。
有一個人，去打籃球，常常輸。隊友說：「你為什麼這麼笨，都不搶球，能贏都不贏。」他答道：「我們在球場，受到這麼多人的歡迎，他們多麼喜歡跟我們打球。」其實輸球，可以換來好人緣。
有一個人，帶女朋友去看電影，路不熟，到了戲院，電影已散場。去吃飯，忘了帶皮夾，只得對女朋友說：「能不能借我一點錢。」到女友府上拜訪，遲到了半個多小時，原來摩托車沒油了，他竟然氣喘如牛的推著摩托車趕來。她還是嫁給了這位傻小子。其實真心，可以換真情。
有一個人，早上出門，後面車子煞車不及撞上來，對方急忙下車向他賠罪，他想：「一點小擦撞，大家都在趕時間，人沒事就好！」回家後，發現保險桿已經搖搖欲墜。朋友說：「你真笨，應該抄下他的車號。」他說：「事情過去就算了。」過幾天，他接到保險公司的理賠通知，原來對方早已記下他的車號。其實不計較，可以得到公平對待。
有個女孩，騎摩托車到大賣場買東西，結帳出來，看到一個人，鬼鬼祟祟的坐在摩托車上，東張西望，她沒好氣的說：「你坐在我車上做什麼？」他哭笑不得的說：「小姐，我已經等你半小時了，你沒事幹麼鎖住我的車。」在婚禮上，人家問他：「你為什麼娶她？」他說：「我喜歡她的迷糊。」其實迷糊，可以得到疼惜。
有一個人，常常托同事幫她買早點，她總是給30元，買一塊她常吃的麵包，有一天這位男同事休假，她自己跑去買麵包才發現，她買的麵包早已漲價成35元。從此以後，她都會多看他一眼，沒多久，公司流傳了一段佳話「五塊錢買一個老婆。」其實吃虧，可以獲得好感。
從小聽到大的故事「龜兔賽跑」，總是以為，現實生活裏，絕對不會有人像兔子般，因為貪睡而輸給烏龜。長大後漸漸發現「其實有成就的人，不是靠能力而是靠努力」。
有些人的成就，是你的十倍、百倍、千倍、萬倍，但是他的能力卻不一定是你的十倍、百倍、千倍、萬倍。不是他比你聰明，而是他笨笨的，去做一些你所不願去做的事。
在人生中，聰明的人，常常在最後，變笨了；而笨的人，卻常常在最後，變聰明了。
遇到寒冷酷熱，聰明的人逃開了；笨的人，卻傻傻的去親身嘗試，意外的在寒冷酷熱中成長。因為笨的人都知道：「努力不一定會成功，但成功卻永遠需要努力。」
有一個大型才藝比賽，主辦單位打破多年慣例，賽前先發紀念品給小朋友，有人說：「主辦單位有點笨，大家領了紀念品，閉幕典禮時就會很冷清。」結果閉幕時場面非常熱鬧。其實尊重，可以獲得支持。
有一個人，去打籃球，常常輸。隊友說：「你為什麼這麼笨，都不搶球，能贏都不贏。」他答道：「我們在球場，受到這麼多人的歡迎，他們多麼喜歡跟我們打球。」其實輸球，可以換來好人緣。
有一個人，帶女朋友去看電影，路不熟，到了戲院，電影已散場。去吃飯，忘了帶皮夾，只得對女朋友說：「能不能借我一點錢。」到女友府上拜訪，遲到了半個多小時，原來摩托車沒油了，他竟然氣喘如牛的推著摩托車趕來。她還是嫁給了這位傻小子。其實真心，可以換真情。
有一個人，早上出門，後面車子煞車不及撞上來，對方急忙下車向他賠罪，他想：「一點小擦撞，大家都在趕時間，人沒事就好！」回家後，發現保險桿已經搖搖欲墜。朋友說：「你真笨，應該抄下他的車號。」他說：「事情過去就算了。」過幾天，他接到保險公司的理賠通知，原來對方早已記下他的車號。其實不計較，可以得到公平對待。
有個女孩，騎摩托車到大賣場買東西，結帳出來，看到一個人，鬼鬼祟祟的坐在摩托車上，東張西望，她沒好氣的說：「你坐在我車上做什麼？」他哭笑不得的說：「小姐，我已經等你半小時了，你沒事幹麼鎖住我的車。」在婚禮上，人家問他：「你為什麼娶她？」他說：「我喜歡她的迷糊。」其實迷糊，可以得到疼惜。
有一個人，常常托同事幫她買早點，她總是給30元，買一塊她常吃的麵包，有一天這位男同事休假，她自己跑去買麵包才發現，她買的麵包早已漲價成35元。從此以後，她都會多看他一眼，沒多久，公司流傳了一段佳話「五塊錢買一個老婆。」其實吃虧，可以獲得好感。
從小聽到大的故事「龜兔賽跑」，總是以為，現實生活裏，絕對不會有人像兔子般，因為貪睡而輸給烏龜。長大後漸漸發現「其實有成就的人，不是靠能力而是靠努力」。
有些人的成就，是你的十倍、百倍、千倍、萬倍，但是他的能力卻不一定是你的十倍、百倍、千倍、萬倍。不是他比你聰明，而是他笨笨的，去做一些你所不願去做的事。
在人生中，聰明的人，常常在最後，變笨了；而笨的人，卻常常在最後，變聰明了。
遇到寒冷酷熱，聰明的人逃開了；笨的人，卻傻傻的去親身嘗試，意外的在寒冷酷熱中成長。因為笨的人都知道：「努力不一定會成功，但成功卻永遠需要努力。」
Monday, April 16, 2007
我們都老得太快, 卻聰明得太遲!
把錢省下來，等待退休後再去享受, 結果退休後，因為年紀大，身體差，行動不方便，哪裡也去不成。錢存下來等養老，結果孩子長大了，要出國留學，要創業做生意，要花錢娶老婆，自己的退休金都被拗走了。
當自己有足夠的能力善待自己時，就立刻去做，老年人有時候是無法做中年人或是青少年人可以做的事，年紀和健康就是一大因素。小孩子從小就告訴他，養你到高中，大學以後就要自立更生，要留學，創業，娶老婆，自己想辦法，自己要留多一點錢，不要為了小孩子而活。
我們都老得太快卻聰明得太遲，我的學長去年喪妻。這突如其來的事故，實在叫人難以接受，但是死亡的到來不總是如此。 學長說他太太最希望他能送鮮花給他，但是他覺得太浪費，總推說等到下次再買，結果卻是在她死後，用鮮花佈置她的靈堂。這不是太蠢愚了嗎？！等到......、等到.....，似乎我們所有的生命，都用在等待。
「等到我大學畢業以後，我就會如何如何」我們對自己說:
「等到我買房子以後！」
「等我最小的孩子結婚之後！」
「等我把這筆生意談成之後！」
「等到我死了以後」
人人都很願意犧牲當下，去換取未知的等待；犧牲今生今世的辛苦錢，去購買後世的安逸。
在台灣只要往有山的道路上走一走，就隨處都可看到「農舍」變「精舍」，山坡地變靈塔，無非也是為了等到死後，能圖個保障，不必再受苦。許多人認為必須等到某時或某事完成之後再採取行動。明天我就開始運動, 明天我就會對他好一點,下星期我們就找時間出去走走,退休後，我們就要好好享受一下.
然而，生活總是一直變動，環境總是不可預知，在現實生活中，各種突發狀況總是層出不窮。身為一個醫生，我所見過的死人，比一般人要來得多。這些人早上醒來時，原本預期過的是另一個平凡無奇的日子，沒想到一個意料之外的事；交通意外、 腦溢血、心臟病發作等等。剎那間生命的巨輪傾覆離軌，突然闖進一片黑暗之中。那麼我們要如何面對生命呢？我們毋需等到生活完美無瑕，也毋需等到一切都平穩，想做什麼，現在就可以開始做起。一個人永遠也無法預料未來，所以不要延緩想過的生活，不要吝於表達心中的話，因為生命只在一瞬間。
記住！給活人送一朵鮮花，強過給死人送貴重的花圈. 每個人的生命都有盡頭，許多人經常在生命即將結束時，才發現自己還有很多事沒有做，有許多話來不及說，這實在是人生最大的遺憾。別讓自己徒留「為時已晚」的空餘恨。逝者不可追，來者猶未卜，最珍貴、最需要即時掌握的「當下」，往往在這兩者蹉跎間，轉眼錯失。
人生短暫飄忽，包得有一首小詩這樣寫：
高天與原地，悠悠人生路；
行行向何方，轉眼即長暮。
正是道盡了人生如寄，轉眼即逝的惶恐。有許多事，在你還不懂得珍惜之前已成舊事；有許多人，在你還來不及用心之前 已成舊人。遺憾的事一再發生，但過後再追悔早知道如何如何」是沒有用的，「那時候」已經過去，你追念的人也已走過了你.
一句瑞典格言說：「我們老得太快，卻聰明得太遲。」
不管你是否察覺，生命都一直在前進人生並未售來回票，失去的便永遠不再將希望寄予「等到方便的時間才享受」. 我們不知失去了多少可能的幸福, 不要再等待有一天你「可以鬆口氣」，或是「麻煩都過去了」。
生命中大部分的美好事物都是短暫易逝的，享受它們、品嚐它們，善待你周圍的每一個人，別把時間浪費在等待所有難題的「完滿結局」上。死亡也許是免費的 ─ 但是，卻要付出生命的代價。勸大家一句話：“把握當下，莫等待”
當自己有足夠的能力善待自己時，就立刻去做，老年人有時候是無法做中年人或是青少年人可以做的事，年紀和健康就是一大因素。小孩子從小就告訴他，養你到高中，大學以後就要自立更生，要留學，創業，娶老婆，自己想辦法，自己要留多一點錢，不要為了小孩子而活。
我們都老得太快卻聰明得太遲，我的學長去年喪妻。這突如其來的事故，實在叫人難以接受，但是死亡的到來不總是如此。 學長說他太太最希望他能送鮮花給他，但是他覺得太浪費，總推說等到下次再買，結果卻是在她死後，用鮮花佈置她的靈堂。這不是太蠢愚了嗎？！等到......、等到.....，似乎我們所有的生命，都用在等待。
「等到我大學畢業以後，我就會如何如何」我們對自己說:
「等到我買房子以後！」
「等我最小的孩子結婚之後！」
「等我把這筆生意談成之後！」
「等到我死了以後」
人人都很願意犧牲當下，去換取未知的等待；犧牲今生今世的辛苦錢，去購買後世的安逸。
在台灣只要往有山的道路上走一走，就隨處都可看到「農舍」變「精舍」，山坡地變靈塔，無非也是為了等到死後，能圖個保障，不必再受苦。許多人認為必須等到某時或某事完成之後再採取行動。明天我就開始運動, 明天我就會對他好一點,下星期我們就找時間出去走走,退休後，我們就要好好享受一下.
然而，生活總是一直變動，環境總是不可預知，在現實生活中，各種突發狀況總是層出不窮。身為一個醫生，我所見過的死人，比一般人要來得多。這些人早上醒來時，原本預期過的是另一個平凡無奇的日子，沒想到一個意料之外的事；交通意外、 腦溢血、心臟病發作等等。剎那間生命的巨輪傾覆離軌，突然闖進一片黑暗之中。那麼我們要如何面對生命呢？我們毋需等到生活完美無瑕，也毋需等到一切都平穩，想做什麼，現在就可以開始做起。一個人永遠也無法預料未來，所以不要延緩想過的生活，不要吝於表達心中的話，因為生命只在一瞬間。
記住！給活人送一朵鮮花，強過給死人送貴重的花圈. 每個人的生命都有盡頭，許多人經常在生命即將結束時，才發現自己還有很多事沒有做，有許多話來不及說，這實在是人生最大的遺憾。別讓自己徒留「為時已晚」的空餘恨。逝者不可追，來者猶未卜，最珍貴、最需要即時掌握的「當下」，往往在這兩者蹉跎間，轉眼錯失。
人生短暫飄忽，包得有一首小詩這樣寫：
高天與原地，悠悠人生路；
行行向何方，轉眼即長暮。
正是道盡了人生如寄，轉眼即逝的惶恐。有許多事，在你還不懂得珍惜之前已成舊事；有許多人，在你還來不及用心之前 已成舊人。遺憾的事一再發生，但過後再追悔早知道如何如何」是沒有用的，「那時候」已經過去，你追念的人也已走過了你.
一句瑞典格言說：「我們老得太快，卻聰明得太遲。」
不管你是否察覺，生命都一直在前進人生並未售來回票，失去的便永遠不再將希望寄予「等到方便的時間才享受」. 我們不知失去了多少可能的幸福, 不要再等待有一天你「可以鬆口氣」，或是「麻煩都過去了」。
生命中大部分的美好事物都是短暫易逝的，享受它們、品嚐它們，善待你周圍的每一個人，別把時間浪費在等待所有難題的「完滿結局」上。死亡也許是免費的 ─ 但是，卻要付出生命的代價。勸大家一句話：“把握當下，莫等待”
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Don't call home for money!
A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream,
"Where did you get that car?"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents.
We know what a Porsche costs.."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."
So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they asked.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. Don't know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
"Where did you get that car?"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents.
We know what a Porsche costs.."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."
So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they asked.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. Don't know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
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